SPEAKING OUT

Photo From Blog Post on Feronia Project Website 3/29/12

Hostile Act?  Or Not? 

I don’t agree with Joan Didion. It just doesn’t sit well with me that saying “This is what I think” is always an act of hostility. As much as I admire Didion for how she writes, I don’t think what she says about being a writer is true. Of course, she has a right to see things her own way. I even find her point of view interesting. And, I definitely thought about it. But, am I a bully for saying, “No. I see it my way. I hope you will, too”?

Here’s what Didion says: “In many ways the act of writing is the act of saying I, of imposing oneself upon other people, of saying listen to me, see it my way, change your mind. It’s an aggressive, even a hostile act.  You can disguise its aggressiveness all you want . . . but there’s no getting around the fact that setting words on paper is the tactic of a secret bully, an invasion, an imposition of the writer’s sensibility on the reader’s most private space.” (From, “Why I Write”, The Writer on Her Work, 1980, p. 17-18)   

Yes. Putting your thoughts out there and expecting to be heard is an act of aggression. But, is aggression the same as hostility?  What’s wrong with saying – listen to me, this is my idea, this is how I feel? Am I being hostile for disagreeing - and writing about it? Or do I simply have a different point of view? Is all aggression the same? I don’t think so.  

Let’s look at how Didion uses her aggression. Her strong point of view is clearly stated.  She owns it.  She doesn’t attack.  She simply says what she thinks.  She wants us to listen, to take her ideas seriously.  Yet, we aren’t forced to agree or change our minds. And, in putting her thoughts on the page – she leaves room for us to think, to react; to do what we want to with her words.

What Joan Didion offers – is an example of healthy aggression: the kind that registers, “I have a right to how I think. A right to exist.” Healthy aggression isn’t cruel. It presents an essential ‘I – ness’; a solidarity with yourself that is crucial for being real - for claiming what is yours.

It’s true. Some people do misuse their aggression for purposes of ridicule and control. That type of aggression is hostile. But, there’s a big difference between insultingly abusive verbal attacks – and saying what you think. Wanting someone to see it your way doesn’t make you a bully (as long as you don’t deny their equal right to an opinion of their own). We all want to be understood.  

So, I respectfully disagree with Joan Didion. But, I offer my opinion. No more. No less. My intention, as a writer and blogger, is not to overthrow anyone’s thoughts. If my words speak to something in you, spark your curiosity, or make you think - I have done my job. If you disagree, I’ll listen. It’s reasonable to say: “This is what I think.” Even – “this is what I want.” In fact, to be successful and happy – saying both is absolutely necessary.